If Your Marriage Feels Heavy Right Now, Try This 30-Day Reset

If your marriage feels uncertain right now—if you’re confused, sad, resentful, or quietly wondering “How did we get here?”—I want you to know something:

You’re not broken.Your marriage isn’t doomed.And you’re not alone in this experience.

I’ve spent years sitting with individuals and couples who arrive in therapy emotionally exhausted, convinced they’ve tried everything… except the one thing that truly creates clarity:

Turning inward.

Not to blame yourself. Not to “fix it alone.”But to understand your internal world clearly enough that you can stop reacting from pain and start responding from alignment.

If you commit to the following three practices for 30 days—really commit—you will gain more peace, more clarity, and yes, you may even begin to see your marriage shift in meaningful ways.

Let’s begin.

1. Do one thing every day that genuinely brings you joy.

And do it mindfully—not while multitasking, not while ruminating, not as another task to check off.

Just one thing.

The walk.

The bath.

The book.

The quiet coffee alone.

The music in your kitchen.

The 10 minutes playing with your dog.

When your nervous system is constantly bracing for emotional impact, you lose access to the parts of you that can problem-solve, reflect, or connect meaningfully.

Joy—even small joy—regulates the mind and body. A regulated body can finally tell the truth about what’s happening. That clarity alone can change everything.

2. Shift your focus inward through intentional journaling.

Most people spend months—even years—cycling through thoughts like:

“He’s not trying.”“She doesn’t care.”“We shouldn’t be like this.”“Why am I the only one paying attention?”

But here’s the reality:

Focusing on your partner keeps you stuck. Focusing on yourself sets you free.

When the negative thoughts come (and they will), pause and journal—not about them, but about you:

• What am I feeling right now?

• What expectation do I have in this moment?

• What need is coming up for me?

• What value feels violated?

• What am I doing—or not doing—that’s contributing to this dynamic?

• What do I desire more than anything in this relationship?

• What would the version of me I’m becoming do right now?

This isn’t about self-blame.

It’s about self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the doorway to clarity—and clarity is the beginning of change.

3. Connect with someone or something outside your marriage.

Humans are wired for connection. When the connection in your marriage feels strained, distant, or unavailable, your emotional system goes into scarcity mode.

Scarcity distorts everything.

You don’t see clearly. You don’t feel grounded. You don’t know what’s true.

So for 30 days, I want you to intentionally connect with someone or something outside your relationship:

• A close friend

• A sibling

• A church or spiritual community

• A small group

• A trusted colleague

• A therapist

• Even nature, art, or a creative practice

This isn’t “giving up” on your marriage.

It’s giving yourself the connection your nervous system needs so you can think clearly again.

You cannot evaluate your relationship accurately when you are emotionally starving.

The Path Forward Isn’t Punishing — It’s Compassionate

These 30 days are not about perfect execution. They’re about creating the internal conditions for clarity:

Joy → Regulation

Reflection → Insight

Connection → Resilience

And clarity is what allows you to finally see:

What’s yours.

What isn’t.

What needs repair.

And what is still possible.

Your marriage may change.

You may change.

The path forward will become clearer.

You deserve that clarity. And you’re far more capable than you feel in this moment.

If you want help, someone to walk with you, someone who hold space, hold the mirror and offer different perspectives, click here to schedule a FREE 30 minute consultation.